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      1. 您的当前位置:我要说说网 > 搞笑说说 > 正文

        微信朋友圈搞笑说说句子

        来源:说说控 编辑:admin 时间:2014-12-26

         
        一、 流量就像大姨妈刚开始总是很多,慢慢的就没了。

        二、 穿别人的鞋,走自己的路,让他们打的找去吧。

        三、 “学长,你帮我看看这道题怎么做嘛?”“学妹你有男朋友吗?”“有了。”“学妹,这道题我也不会做。”

        四、 千万不要在海边开玩笑,否则会引起海笑。

        五、 如果谷歌和百度合并了,会不会改名叫Good-Bye?

        六、 如果我死了,我的第一句话是:终于不用怕鬼了。

        七、 眼睛大,小细腿,小细腰,各种蕾丝,还带美瞳,这样够外协标准么?其实,苍蝇也长这样。

        八、 一时的冲动,子孙的;!

        九、 每一个爱睡懒觉的孩子都有一个难以割舍的情人,TA的名字叫被窝。

        十、 光棍节让我一个人过,情人节让我一个人过,平安夜让我一个人过,圣诞节让我一个人过,有本事考试让我一个人。
        微信朋友圈搞笑说说句子

        十一、 我当了十多年的学生,什么老师没见过。

        十二、 听说女人如衣服,兄弟如手足;叵肫鹄,我竟然七手八脚的裸奔了20年!

        十三、 有一个很古老的传说,说是在北邮校园内能看到美女的人会长生不老。

        十四、 人和猪的区别就是:猪一直是猪,而人有时却不是人!

        十五、 时间是最好的老师,可惜最后把所有同学都给弄死了。

        十六、 床,请自重,放开我!我可是有课的人!

        十七、 当年我也是颗痴情种子,结果下场雨,淹死了。

        十八、 考试时的眼睛:(←_←)(→_→)(←_←)(→_→)老师来了:(↓_↓)

        十九、 问:“上课玩手机如何才能让你的同桌死心塌地的为你看老师?”答:“玩你同桌的手机!”

        二十、 带翅膀的不一定是天使,有可能是雷震子。

        二十一、 竟然有人说我涂了眼影,简直是在侮辱我的黑眼圈。

        二十二、 小时候,一直认为曹雪芹是女的。

        二十三、 “你能模仿下啄木鸟吗?”“怎么模仿?”“就拿我的脸当树。”

        二十四、 总有几个蠢货,是我不能抛弃的朋友。

        二十五、 人们说歹徒都是天才,说的我都想当歹徒了。

        二十六、 如果你容不下我,不是你的心胸太狭小,就是我的人格太伟大。

        二十七、 我是个想法很简单的人,只想娶个绝症的富婆平平淡淡的过完一生

        二十八、 麻麻说:我叛逆期怎么整她,她更年期就怎么整我。

        二十九、 你原来在我的心里,后来慢慢你就跑我胃里了,再后来我把你消化了,你就跑我大肠里了,最后你变成了一个屁,然后我就把你放了,你是个屁我不放了你,难道还留在肠子里慢慢回味不成?

        三十、 既然你是废物,那我也只好废物利用。

        三十一、 待我wifi连上,看流量怎么嚣张!

        三十二、 谁给我的QQ喂了止咳糖浆,我怎么感觉这个企鹅已经好久没咳嗽了。

        三十三、 电脑玩多了,看电视都想快进。

        三十四、 天冷了,有对象的搂对象,没对象的咱添衣裳。

        三十五、 钱不是万能的,这句话是有钱人说给穷人听的,让穷人不要骚动,以防抢了他们的钱;钱不是万能的,是穷人说给自己听的,对自己无能的安慰,让自己心安理得!

        三十六、 减肥没有那么容易,每块肉有它的脾气。

        三十七、 谁说我上课注意力不集中,我看你看得可认真了。

        三十八、 作为失败的典型,你实在是太成功了。

        三十九、 一哥们儿隔壁新搬来个老外,一天晚上老外敲门求助,说:“我的电视坏了,不能换台。”这哥们儿低头看了眼表,很镇定的说:“过了七点半就好了”

        四十、 今天,阔别一月的男友终于要回来了。当敲门声响起的时候,我兴奋地开门,扑到了邮差的怀中。

        四十一、 妈妈:“以后不许再说一些莫名其妙的话,听到了吗?”“这些可都是莎士比亚说的呀!”“是吗,那以后不许你再和莎士比亚一起玩了。”

        四十二、 路见不平一声吼,吼完继续往前走。

        四十三、 一旦我发现数学有题目不会做了我就跳过,这一跳我发现根本停不下来。

        四十四、 世界上最痛苦的事就是,从上课憋尿憋到下课老师还拖堂。

        四十五、 上辈子一定是无家可归,这辈子才会宅成这样。

        四十六、 我最讨厌有人跟我说东南西北了!指路不会说左右啊;等!

        四十七、 如果你觉得现在走的辛苦,那就证明你在走——上坡路。

        四十八、 如果回帖是一种美德,那我早就成为圣人了。

        四十九、 当哥看到装B的,哥总是低下头。不是哥修养好,而是哥在找砖头。

        五十、 世上最遥远的距离不是生与死,而是附近一大堆WIFI,我们却不知道密码。

        五十一、 鲁迅先生一生的遗憾:我用一生写成的文章,后人却用它去布置作业。

        五十二、 上课犯困时,最提神醒脑的一句话是“下面找一位同学上黑板来做这道题”

        五十三、 我感觉现在我不是在上学,而是学在上我,简单粗暴还不带套!

        五十四、 我一巴掌拍死五只蚊子,其中有四只来了例假。

        五十五、 我的未来不是梦,我的未来是噩梦。

        五十六、 今早朋友在公交上被偷了钱包。他趁小偷不注意又偷回来了,还多拿了一个.

        五十七、 陪女朋友去宁波凤凰山玩,终于等到盼望已久蹦极。女朋友在下面看着,策划很久的浪漫桥段,喊着女友名字"xxx,我爱你"往下跳,第一次难免紧张,刚大声喊出女友的名字就被跳下去了,被吓暴了,结果女友和下面的人就听到的是这样的:“xxx,我……我草。。!”

        五十八、 我一定要在你平庸无奇的人生里,做一个闪闪发光的神经病。

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